SPLC: I Will Personally Serve Andrew Anglin for You

The SPLC is claiming that its frivolous lawsuit against Andrew Anglin can’t go forward because they can’t find him to serve him the lawsuit:

Michael Kunzelman, AP:

A court filing Friday by lawyers from the Southern Poverty Law Center claims The Daily Stormer’s founder, Andrew Anglin, is “actively concealing his whereabouts” and hasn’t been served with Tanya Gersh’s federal lawsuit.

Actually, he’s offered to meet dozens of reporters (once in an email chain that went through me) and none of them took him up on the offer, but that’s beside the point.

Gersh’s attorneys are asking for more time to find Anglin so the case won’t be temporarily dismissed.

The law center’s lawyers said they have looked for him at four addresses in Franklin County, Ohio, for which he apparently has a connection. Gersh’s attorneys say they also tried in vain to contact Anglin’s Las Vegas-based attorney, Marc Randazza, and confirm that he is authorized to accept service of the lawsuit on Anglin’s behalf.

Randazza questioned whether the lawyers’ request for a deadline extension is a “stunt.”

“If they can’t serve him, I question whether they are actually trying,” Randazza told The Associated Press on Friday. “We’re going to defend (against) the case.”

Now, I may not know much, as I’m just a simple country boy from Arkansas, but I do know that in the 18th century they had trouble finding people to serve them a lot of times, as most people’s addresses were basically a paragraph that included a sentence like “300 yards east of the crick”. As a result most cases in the age were served through alternative service, a practice that still remains alive today in the Federal Rules of Civil procedure, and the rules of procedure of every state, city, and county court in the world.

Hundreds of thousands of motions for alternative service are filed in US courts every year. The principle is that you can post a bill somewhere that the defendant or his kin is likely to see it. Typically these days it is done via a newspaper publication. Now I know the SPLC might be hard up for the kind of money necessary to buy a newspaper ad giving it is losing its 501(c)3 status soon for its clear partisan behavior in the last election, so I’m glad to inform them that in the 21st century judges allow you to serve process by email! If you need help finding a template for doing so you can check Doe v. Fortuny (1:08-cv-01050) on PACER– it contains a successful federal motion for alternative service via email. I’m sure there are hundreds of others but that’s just a case I can remember off the top of my head, and suing people is not even my fucking job.

Is the SPLC seriously pretending that they are worried Andrew Anglin hasn’t seen the complaint? That his world class attorneys, Marc Randazza and Jay Wolman, have not read the complaint? I assure you, Anglin’s very capable counsel have read the complaint. I have not personally seen them read it, but I think it is a fair bet that they read the complaint before taking the case.

This fixation on serving Anglin physically despite the obvious ease of alternative service can only mean one of two things:

  1. The SPLC is trying to back away from its frivolous lawsuit filed on behalf of the rotten extortion artist Tanya Gersh for the express purpose of silencing Andrew Anglin’s speech in a criminal conspiracy against his rights. They want to avoid the obvious humiliating public losses and liabilities that are going to result from their actions, thus they now fumble to construct a narrative in which they can abandon the case under the absurd pretext that it can’t go forward because they can’t locate Andrew Anglin despite civil procedure not having required them to do so for centuries.
  2. The Jews at the SPLC have no intent on actually resolving its differences with Andrew Anglin’s lawful and morally righteous use of his 1st Amendment rights through the courts, and intend to do to him what they usually do to their most prominent critics: murder them.

Since the SPLC seems incapable of filing a simple motion for alternative service, which is the kind of basic thing that any tier 4 law graduate Lionel Hutz type can do, I am going to offer them my assistance.

I, personally, am willing to fly to Andrew Anglin to physically serve him on the SPLC’s behalf. I don’t need a license in the jurisdiction as I’ve done less than 4 deliveries of process in the past year. I am amply qualified for the job, as I am apparently far more familiar with the rules of process than the SPLC’s entire staff.

As a side note, I would suggest to the SPLC’s board that they move to replace their existing leadership with someone basely competent.

До свидания, суки педики!